Untitled Book

So, last year, something sad happened to me: my best friend died of Leukemia.
Since I am an English undergraduate student with an emphasis on Editing, I decided then for my graduation project to collect some of my conversations with him and editing into a book. The idea of doing it, not only is it painful, came from the purpose of doing something that would actually mean something to me and that it would be a way of always remembering him.
One time, he tried committing suicide and after he came back from the hospital we talked about it and I asked him how he could do something to me like that and not let me at least say goodbye to him. He told me I would eventually find out about the incident, in case he had been, let's say, "successful" with it. Then I asked him if that was it, if I would never seen him again in case he actually had died, and then he told me:

"ah não amado... para sempre é longe demais;
sempre tem uma hora que a gente se encontra
(...)
lembra de mim que eu vou estar sempre pensando em você!"

Which would be translated to:

"oh no my dear... forever is far too much;
there is always a time when we will meet
(...)
remember me for I will always be thinking of you!"

It's conversations like these that makes this project even harder to complete, but still, even more valuable!

Wünsch

Es ist mir kalt

Ein kalter Tag

Ein kaltes Wetter

Eine kalte Liebe

Was soll ich jetzt machen?

Soll ich warten auf eine Liebe,

die mir versprochen wurde?

Oder soll ich langsam zur Vergessenheit gehen?

Ich gehe auf der Straße hinab

Ich denke an ihn

Ich kann nicht verstehen den Grund

Warum müsste er gehen?

Könnte ich ihm nicht helfen?

Könnte ich deine Hände nicht halten?

Könnte ich nicht ihn sagen,

wie groß meine Liebe für ihn war?

Ich verstehe nicht den Grund!

Ich habe Angst davon,

ich ihn vergessen wird.

Ich soll das nicht machen! Ich muss das nicht machen!

„Vergiss mich nicht“ sagte er

Und ihn zu vergessen darf ich nicht

Soll ich nicht

Darf ich nicht!

Das Herzleiden

Sometimes, when we ask someone a question

 – as simple it may sound –

 silence is simply another way of saying no.

Sometimes, when all we want to listen to

is a simple “wart auf mich bitte”,

we get an empty stare instead

I have raised my voice,

you, on the other hand,

have lowered yours

May time heal these wounds –

es muss schnell vorbei gehen –

for I want to be soon free from

meine Sucht nach dir.